THE IVORIAN CRISIS AND THE MANY DISTORTIONS AND LIES

It has been interesting following discussions on the Ivorian Crisis and it has been very interesting also listening to the many distortions that keep being repeated about the crisis in very desperate attempts to make wrongs look good. Below are few of them;
1. That the Ivorian Constitutional Council is balanced and objective because the constitution provides for all former Presidents to be members

The reality is that the constitutional council as exists is made up strongly of Gbagbo loyalists including its head Paul Yao Ndre. There is only one former President in the Ivory Coast in the person of Henri Konan Bedie and Bedie himself was a contestant in the recent polls thus not on the Constitutional Council which decided to arbitrarily and lawlessly cancel results from the strongholds of Ouattara

2. That the Ivorian Constitutional Council was within its powers to cancel the results as it did

The fact is that the Ivorian Constitutional Council has no such powers! What it can do which is permissible within Ivorian law is to cancel fully the elections and arrange for a new one! It has no powers to cancel partially as it did! And it is obvious that it chose to do so because there was no way the cronies of Gbagbo and Gbagbo himself were ready to leave power! Indeed though the Gbagbo camp initially protested against results in 4 Regions, the constitutional council ended up cancelling results in 7 regions!

3. That the Electoral Commission ought to have declared the results within 72 hours of the close of polls and that failure meant the Constitutional Council had it in its authority to declare the results

This claim is nothing but utter falsehood!

4. Could Gbagbo have won the election?

First of all, let us remember some historical and demographic facts.

Why Gbagbo won in 2000?

Laurent Gbagbo until 1999/2000 was a relative political outsider in the politics of the Ivory Coast! He could have been compared more to someone like Edward Mahama in Ghana and his party to the PNC. The two largest Parties in the country at that time was Felix Houphet Boigny’s PDCI-RDA, then led by Henri Konan Bedie and the Rally of the Republicans (RDR) led by Alassane Ouattara. Laurent Gbagbo’s party was the Ivorian Popular Front (FPI).

Now Laurent Gbagbo won the 2000 General Elections basically because the two leading political protagonists Henri Konan Bedie and Alassane Ouattara were disqualified from contesting by the then Military leader of the Ivory Coast, Robert Guei. The Parties of these candidates therefore boycotted the elections. However, Robert Guei in trying to give the 2000 elections a semblance of democracy allowed Laurent Gbagbo and the leaders of other smaller parties to contest him for the Presidency.
The mood of the people was that, it was better for them to elect a civilian as President, whoever he was than to keep a military man. So Gbagbo won by 59.4%. Incidentally, Robert Guei tried the same gymnastics Gbagbo is using now but it took the Ivorian people to take to the streets and get Guei out.

Strongholds of the Parties

Now, the base of the Parties makes interesting reading as well

The population of Côte d'Ivoire is ethnically diverse. More than sixty indigenous ethnic groups are often cited,These may be reduced to four major cultural regions-

-the East Atlantic (primarily Akan) The largest Akan populations in Côte d'Ivoire are the Baoulé, who make up nearly 18 percent of the total population, and the Agni (Anyi), who make up only about 5 percent of the total mostly support PDCI/RDA

West Atlantic (primarily Kru),mostly support FPI and the UDPCI

Voltaic, The most numerous of these, the Sénoufo, made up about 10 percent of the total population in the 1980s-mostly support RDR

Mandé peoples--including the Malinké, Bambara, Juula, and smaller, related groups--made up about 17 percent of the population of Côte d'Ivoire .mostly vote for the RDR

The largest Akan populations in Côte d'Ivoire are the Baoulé, who make up nearly 18 percent of the total population, and the Agni (Anyi), who make up only about 5 percent of the total .

They inhabit the center and eastern part of the country and from where both Houphet-boigny and Konan Bedie originate. The Baoule tradition, culture, language etc. is very similar to the Akans of Ghana and are known to have migrated from modern day Ghana where they were part of the Akans into Ivory Coast. The Akans are the largest ethnic group in Ivory Coast and that is the main base of the PDCI-RDA.

The base of Alassane Ouattara’s RDR is the north of the country. The north of the Ivory Coast is inhabited mainly by people whose forbearers were from other countries but mainly from Burkina Faso and Mali as well as the tribes of Senoufous and the Malinkes. The North also has about 30% of the population. Now, during the era of the Felix Houphet Boigny, the country’s first President, he deliberately encouraged immigrants into the country because the booming economy then needed a bigger labour force which the indigenous Ivorian population could not provide. So he encouraged a lot of immigration into the country from Burkina Faso, Mali, Niger, Ghana, Nigeria, Liberia, Togo etc.. But the largest of these immigrants were from Burkina Faso and Mali.

The base of Laurent Gbagbo’s FPI is the Betes who are a minority ethnic group occupying the West of the country with less than 13% of the population.

The main city of Abidjan is mixed. Simply put, Abidjan is not the stronghold of any particular party. All the parties have support in Abidjan but have strongholds in specific neighborhoods.

Now from the above, it is obvious that Laurent Gbagbo would find it extremely difficult winning an election when the election is contested by Alassane Ouattara and Henri Konan Bedie and it would be almost impossible for him to win if those two become allies and that is exactly what happened. Going into the 2010 elections, Alassane Ouattara and Konan Bedie went into an alliance, the Rally of Houphouëtistes. The agreement was that while Konan Bedie and Alassane Ouattara would contest the first round as separate candidates, the two would ally in the second round should any of the two make it to the second round. This is how come Henri Konan Bedie who placed third in the first round with 25.24% of the votes came to support Ouattara who polled 32.07% in the first round. Laurent Gbagbo came first in the first round with 38..04%. The other Parties all together polled 4.65%.

Now with Konan Bedie and Ouattara allying, it meant that the strength of the two candidates was 57.31%. Again, it meant that if Ouattara won the Centre of the country, that is the Baoules, then he was assured of certain victory as he was already assured of the northern vote which he had won massively in the first round. And this is exactly what happened because Ouattara won the Center of the country which interestingly was under the control of Laurent Gbagbo. So the question is, did Ouattara rig in the Center of the country as well? in the Region of Lacs (Lakes) in the centre of the country for example, Ouattara won the second round by 80.35%.due mainly to the alliance with Bedie. He also won Nzi Comoe by 63.40% also due to the alliance with Beide.

5. Alassane Ouattara and the Northern Vote

The north of Ivory Coast sees itself as marginalized. The repeated attempts to block Ouattara from contesting the polls have only helped to solidify his northern stronghold, where many people now believe that a Ouattara win is a win for them all, and a redress of history. This would be seen in a massive turnout of voters during the voter registration process and the elections.

It is nearly impossible for Gbagbo to have won votes from the north, but Ouattara could still have won votes from the south, where Gbagbo has most of his support and that is exactly what happened. It is reflective to state again that Ouattara had struck a deal with Henri Konan Bedie, the Presidential candidate who came in a strong third and whose base is the Bauole center of the country, to support him as the frontrunner for the opposition in the second round.

This is exactly what happened because Ouattara won the Center of the country which interestingly was under the control of Laurent Gbagbo. So the question is, did Ouattara rig in the Center of the country as well? in the Region of Lacs (Lakes) in the centre of the country for example, Ouattara won the second round by 80.35%. He also won Nzi Comoe by 63.40%. Aside the center and North of the country, Ouattara also showed impressively all across the country including in Abidjan where he polled 48.1% of the votes!


6. That there was massive fraud which altered the election significantly

This couldn’t be farther from the truth and this is what both the UN Secretary General’s Special Representative who was tasked with certifying the elections and the Panel of Experts tasked by the AU to work with the committee of 5 Presidents have found.

First of all, it is instructive to note that the voter turnout in the first round was even more than that of the second round as announced by the Independent Electoral Commission. Many make various allegations about huge inflations of figures in various regions and even state that these inflations meant that the turnout in those regions were sometimes over 300% of the registered voters. This is a blatant lie because this would have certainly meant that the national voter turnout would have as well have been inflated in the second round. Interestingly, while the voter turnout in the first round was 83%, that of the second round was 81%.

Secondly, it is claimed that the huge fraud perpetrated in the North was the reason why Ouattara won. As explained above, this is clearly another distortion. Yes. Ouattara won by a landslide in the North as he did in the first round which Gbagbo accepted but Ouattara also won in the center of the country and showed impressively in the south and this is why he won the second round. Indeed, even in Abidjan which some want us to believe is a Gbagbo stronghold, Ouattara polled 48.10% of the votes as against the 51.90% of Gbagbo. So did he rig also in Abidjan?

Again, it should be noted that no one is saying that the election was perfect. It should be obvious to anyone that no election, the world over, is perfect. The critical issue is in every election therefore is whether the irregularities in the election was enough to significantly alter the verdict of the people. So in 2008 here in Ghana, there were irregularities in many places, notably, the Volta Region and Ashanti Region but because the irregularities were not enough to distort the will of the people, no one called for a re-run of the election.

Now the UN Special Representative in the Ivory Coast who was tasked to certifying the elections made it emphatically clear that even if all the tally sheets with which Gbagbo’s camp were protesting were taking out of the total results, Ouattara would still emerge victorious and he made this certification after tallying all the tally sheets from the over 20,000 polling stations which were collected by the UN and transported to Abidjan, copies of which were also sent to the Independent Electoral Commission.

This is the exact quote of the Special Representative

“I, as certifier of the Ivorian elections, have completed the analysis and evaluation of all the tally sheets transported by UNOCI and received from the IEC. Even if all the complaints made by the presidential camp to the Constitutional Council were taken into account in terms of numbers of tally sheets, and consequently the votes, the outcome of the second round of the presidential elections as proclaimed by the IEC President on 2 December would not change, with candidate Ouattara being the winner of the presidential election”

First of all, it is obvious to anyone who followed the election that the incidents of violence and irregularities were not limited to the North in both the first and second rounds. Indeed, in the first round the opposition protested greatly against incidents of violence and irregularities in both Abidjan and Gbagbo’s stronghold of the West. This even led Henri Konan Bedie to protest against his 3rd position in the reasoning that had it not been such irregularities, he would have been in the second round with Alassane Ouattara.


Again, it should be stated that the both AU Panel of Experts and the UN Special Rep realized that the tally sheets which lacked the signatures of any of the two parties in the second round were very few and that they would not alter the election results if taken out. Almost all the 20,000 tally sheets were signed by representatives of Gbagbo whether in the North, Center or South of the country.


Finally, it should also be stated that facing obvious defeat, what Gbagbo did was to protest against the election results in only four regions of the North. But the fact is that even if all the results from those four regions were cancelled, Alassane Ouattara would still emerge as winner and that is why the Constitutional Court ended up cancelling the results in seven regions instead.


7. That no Ivorian soldiers were in the North during the election

This is another absolute falsehood. By an arrangement of the UN which supervised the election, some forces of the government were allowed by the New Forces to go to the North and supervise the election there as well as help with security. It is by the same arrangement that allowed members of the New Forces to come to the South and especially into Abidjan to also supervise the elections and help with security arrangements. It is these members of the New Forces who rushed to the Gulf Hotel where Alassane Ouattara was to offer security when they sensed that the actions of Gbagbo and his loyalists might put Ouattara and his associates in danger. Let’s just ask, how did so many members of the New Forces get to Abidjan to protect Ouattara? This is the truth which has been distorted and changed!

8. That the African Union never recognized Alassane Ouattara

This is another absolute lie which was put out by people like Kwesi Pratt. The truth is that the African Union through its Peace and Security Council first recognized Alassane Ouattara as the President – elect of the Ivory Coast at its 251st Meeting held in Addis Ababa on the 4th December, 2010. The same Peace and Security Council reaffirmed this decision in its communiqué issued after its 252nd meeting on the 9th of December, 2010.

Again, the AU Chairperson, Jean Ping in a statement issued on 27th December, 2010 again expressed the need to protect the status of Alassane Ouattara as President elect.

Again, the Peace and Security Council of the African Union (AU), at its 259th meeting held on 28 January 2011, at the level of the Heads of State and Government reaffirmed its decision to recognize Alassane Ouattara as the legitimately elected President of the Ivory Coast.


The AU Heads of State Summit in January 2010 further endorsed all the communiqués of the Peace and Security Council which had clearly endorsed Alassane Ouattara. This is on page 6 of the 18 page document released after the Summit.

Finally, the Peace and Security Council at its 265th Meeting last week after receiving the report from the High‐Level Panel for the Resolution of the Crisis in Côte d'Ivoire reaffirmed its recognition of Alassane Ouattara and this was non-negotiable. What the AU seeks to negotiate are proposals it put in a 5 point document which included the proposal to form a unity government. This it should be stated was just a proposal and it is on such proposals that the AU has set a 2 week period to negotiate. However, it should be stated clearly that the status of Alassane Ouattara is not part of what would be negotiated.

The Panel of Experts after examining all the 20,000 tally sheets and talking to all the major players involved in the crisis could not come to any other position which was different from that of the Independent Electoral Commission and the UN Special Representative who all agree that the victory of Alassane Ouattara is incontrovertible.

9. That Military Action would mean certain War

This is also what many without necessary information and analysis have put out in this country for months.

First of all, lets remember that should Military Action be occur in this instance, that action can be best compared to what happened in 1979 when Julius Nyerere of Tanzania sent in troops into Uganda to get out Iddi Amin. Just like this instance, there existed rebel groups already in Uganda with one of them, the FRONASA led by current President Yoweri Museveni.

Also, let no one hallucinate into thinking that Gbagbo controls the Ivorian Army totally. What is clear is that he has the unflinching support of the top generals but his support among the ranks of the Military is not total. Indeed, there are credible reports that Alassane Ouattara won in the Military bases in the south by up to 62%. But since the elections in the bases were not declared separately, this report cannot be verified. What is clear however is that Ouattara has support within the Ivorian Army. Indeed some senior officers have recently crossed over to join Ouatara

Again, let no one think that Gbagbo’s Army is any crack unit. That is far from the case! Indeed, it was this same army which conceded close to 60% of the country to the New Forces Rebels in September 2002 barely hours after the New Forces Rebels then led by Guillaume Soro had launched their campaign. Had it not been France, the New Forces would have taken the whole country within days.

Just in these past few days, the Ivorian Army has conceded substantial territory to the rebels who have started a campaign in the West of the country and the rebels have taken 4 townships from government forces and are advancing. Let’s also remember that the Rebels can command at their disposal equal numbers of fighters just like Gbagbo!

The rebels just after starting their current campaign have spread in Abidjan and are now attacking several suburbs of Abidjan even including the stronghold of Gbagbo- yopugon.

Now there is talk also of Gbagbo’s youth who many think are ready to die for Gbagbo to remain in power. Well the situation on the ground does not seem to support this too. In the recent few weeks, supporters of Alassane Ouattara have taken control of one of the suburbs in Abidjan, Abobo, which is a traditional stronghold of Ouattara. These supporters of Ouattara have rendered Abobo, a virtual no go area for Gbagbo’s troops. Now Abobo is in Abidjan, just like the many youths of Gbagbo and under the command of Charles Ble Goude. So the simple question is, if these youths are so ready for Gbagbo to die, why have they not moved into Abobo to try to retake control of that suburb? Why are they interested in just mounting Road Blocks and harassing innocent citizens and foreigners? Is it not interesting that the rebels acting under the guise of so called Commando Invisible have adopted effective hit and ran methods on Gbagbos forces that he is now accusing Nigeria of supporting the rebels tactically and even claiming that Nigeria has brought in 500 mercenaries?

But put all these aside and another issue is the fact that the Forces of Laurent Gbagbo (who are increasingly wearing civilian clothes to avoid being hit by the COMMANDO INVISIBLE) as a result of the Economic strangleholds placed on the Gbagbo administration it is becoming soo difficult to pay civil servants.becuase the banks are closed and the nationalized ones don’t have the money to pay because the West African Central bank is not supplying them with money

But also eliminate this factor and ask yourself; who would have thought just two months ago that the Army of Egypt would watch opposition protesters take control of major cities and squares without bothering to use brutal force on these protesters and finally ask Mubarak to leave? Who thought that the Army in Tunisia would behave the same way? Who thought that members of the Libyan Army would abandon their so called cherished leader Gaddafi? So no one should deceive himself that an army would stick to one man till they all perish given these instances!

Again, let no one think that Military Action would mean sending in hundreds of thousands of troops before it can be successful. Everyone knows that in Military operations the main issue is about strategy and equipment and the motivation of the opposing forces.


10. That Gbagbo was a unifier and he allowed Ouattara and Bedie to contest
This is another lie which has been told all over.

The truth was that Ouattara and Bedie did not contest as a result of Gbagbo’s mercy! They contested as a result of a pact signed by all parties to the Ivorian conflict as well as political groupings. This pact was the ougadougou political agreement-2007-negotiated by Blaise campoare under the mandate of ecowas and AU. It is this same pact which allowed Laurent Gbagbo to stay in power for 5 more years after his term of office elapsed in October 30th 2005! The international community thought it wise to allow him to stay to supervise the implementation of earlier peace accords and ensure the disarmament thus the Ouagadougou was a prolongation of his mandate and a decree to allow Bedie and Ouatara to contest

Interestingly, it is this so called Unifier Gbagbo who before the second round had embossed on all his posters ‘hundred percent’, drawing people’s attention to the Ivorite concept of 100% indigene which had started the conflict in the first place. It was also clear from his campaign that he did not intend to leave power his slogan was WIN WIN..
11. That it is France and the West who are fomenting confusion
It is also interesting how one African leader after the other tries to blame the west for their misrule! Today, Gbagbo is blaming France. Interesting!

It is this same France which provided Laurent Gbagbo a safe haven in the 90s when he Gbagbo claimed he was being persecuted by Konan Bedie.

It is this same France which stepped into the conflict and prevented the New Forces Rebels from taking over the whole country. And it was this same France which was accused by the Rebels and others of aiding Gbagbo. This is why the Ivorian conflict was for many a pseudo conflict between America and France as America was suspected to be supporting the rebels while France was also seen to be backing Gbagbo!

Many also claim that it the west who are behind all attempts to get Gbagbo out! That is another blatant lie and the evidence is at the Security Council! Though China and Russia who are leaders of the East have veto powers on the council, none of them have ever vetoed any of the United Nations resolutions on the Ivory Coast.

12. The Critical Issue of the Numbers

Now, let’s look at the Numbers. So much noise has been made especially about the Northern votes especially in the second round and the fact that it is these votes that made Ouattara win. This could also not be farther from the truth. Now let’s look first at the figures from the five Northern Regions in the Ivory Coast in the first round and in the second round.
Savanes – (377, 640)
First round – Second Round
Alassane Ouattara – 255,228 307, 530 increase of 52,302
Gbagbo – 19,312 21, 203
Konan Bedie – 14,620
Others – 7,968
Spoilt Ballots – 21,059 5,590
Total Votes – 318, 187 334, 323 – increase of 16,136

** it is obvious here that the increase of about 55,000 in Ouattara’s votes were as a result of Ouattara winning votes from the other parties especially Bedie and the decrease in the number of Soilt ballots by about 16,000. However, the turnout in the second round was just 16,136!

Denguele – (78,374)
First Round Second Round
Alassane Ouattara – 58,950 70,357 increase – 11,407
Gbagbo – 1, 617 1,551
Bedie- 1,587
Others – 946
Spoilt Ballots – 3,010 603
Total – 63,100 72,511 increase of 9,411

** Again, in this instance the increase of 11,407 in Ouattara’s votes can be attributed to the increase in the turnout in the second round by 9,411 as well as the votes of Konan Bedie and the other aspirants. It is also instructive to note that in this instance Laurent Gbagbo’s votes decreased in the second round by just 66!
Bafing – (38,766)
First Round Second Round
Alassane Ouattara – 21,561 26,871 increase of 5,310
Gbagbo – 4, 666 5,555
Bedie – 1,519
Others – 1,648
Spoilt Ballots – 2,229 719
Total Votes – 31,623 33,145 increase of 1,522

Worodougou –( 108,940)
First Round Second Round
Alassane Ouattara – 76,110 93,990 increase of 17,880
Laurent Gbagbo – 6,060 5,263
Konan Bedie – 3, 595
Others – 1,587
Spoilt Ballots – 4,641 1,309
Total Votes – 91,993 100,562 increase of 8569

** Here again, the votes of Alassane Ouattara can be attributed to the increase in turnout as well as the votes from other candidates especially Konan Bedie and the decrease in the spoilt ballots from the first round.

Vallee du bandama –( 374,122)
First Round Second Round
Alassane Ouatara – 144,637 244,471 increase of 99,834
Laurent Gbagbo – 27,305 41,789
Konan Bedie – 111,881
Others – 6,296
Spolit Ballots - 15,216 6,444
Total Votes – 305,335 292,659 decrease of 12, 676


Alassane Ouattara in all increased his votes from the North in second Round over that of the First Round by 186, 733. Meanwhile, the difference between the votes of Alassane Ouattara in the first round and that of the second round was 1,002,073. So how can anyone claim that Ouattara’s election was as a result of abnormal increases in the North, when as we have seen, there was nothing abnormal about the votes in the second round and when the increases in his votes in the second round in the north were much less than his victory margin and even more less than the difference of his votes in the first round and second round? Only in the logic of Laurent Gbagbo and his cohorts can this happen! Simply, Alassane Ouattara even without his increases in the North in the second round, would have still won the elections by 189,376 votes!

Now, with this it is obvious that Ouattara won more votes all across the country and especially in Gbagbo controlled areas in the second round and this is the reason why Ouattara won hands down! Critical to Ouattara’s victory in the second round was the Center of the country which is the stronghold of Konan Bedie and his RDA-PDCI and other similar areas in the country. It should be reiterated that these areas are under the control of Gbagbo! And Ouattara did so well because of the support of Bedie and the Alliance formed as indicated! Now lets also look at few figures from such regions
Lacs (Lakes) – (219,358)
First Round Second Round
Alassane Ouattara – 26,631 129,331(increase of 102,700)
Laurent Gbagbo – 22,529 31,632
Konan Bedie – 119,754 )
Others – 4,579
Total Votes – 180,869 164,409

**The Lacs (Lakes) region is in the center of the country and under the control of Laurent Gbagbo; yet as we can see, Alassane Ouattara was able to win over 102,000 more votes in this region alone in the second round and this is attributable mainly to the support of Henri Konan Bedie as I keep repeating. Gbagbo also won close to 10,000 more votes; but the increase in votes in Ouattara’s votes was overwhelming.
Nzi – Comoe (264,975)
First Round Second Round
Alassane Ouattara – 15,031 120,311 (increase of 105,280)
Laurent Gbagbo – 50,631 69,456
Konan Bedie – 136,851
Others – 6,339
Total Votes – 222,192 196,048

** Nzi Comoe is also in the Centre of Ivory Coast and under the control of Laurent Gbagbo but here again and as we can see, Alassane Ouattara won over 105,000 more votes in the second round. Again, this was basically as a result of his alliance with Henri Konan Bedie who won this region massively in the first round.
Bas- Sassandra - (349,325)
First Round Second Round
Alassane Ouattara – 52,135 126, 202
Laurent Gbagbo – 87,690 113, 371
Konan Bedie – 104,798
Others – 8,197
Total Votes – 273,498 248,859

** The region of Bas Sassandra is in the extreme South West of the country and fully under the control of Laurent Gbagbo. It borders Liberia. But as we can see here, Alassane Ouattara increased his votes by 74,067 votes in the second round and won the region which he gave him only 20% votes in the first round. Gbagbo also increased his votes by 28,681. But the increase of Gbagbo obviously comes nowhere near that of Ouattara and this is again mainly as a result of the alliance with Konan Bedie.

It is interesting that in only these three regions (two in the center and one in the south), Alassane Ouattara increased his votes in the second round over that of the first round by 282,047. So, Ouattara won more votes in these 3 regions in the second round as compared to the 5 Northern Regions which people have made so much noise about.

This is what people haven’t been saying! Alassane Ouattara would have still won the elections even without his increases in the North! He did tremendously well in the Center and South in the Second Round and that is why he won!
Few figures from Regions Gbagbo won to show how impressive Ouattara did in the second Round. In Abidjan (including the non-districts) while Ouattara won 241,383 more votes in the second round, Gbagbo won 121,891 votes.

In the Dix-Huit Montagne (eighteen mountains) Region in the west of the country and under the control of Gbagbo, while Ouattara won 79,192 more votes in the second round, Gbagbo only won 24,616 more votes. In this region, Ouattara’s votes due more to the support from Albert Mabri who came second in the region in the first round by winning 86,951 votes in this region in the first round.

In the Marahoue Region also in the center and under the control of Gbagbo, virtually doubled his votes in the second round by winning 31,352 more votes in the second round, Gbagbo only won 11,450 votes.

In the Moyen Cavally Region in the South West, while Ouattara more than doubled his votes in the second round by gaining 21,274 more votes in the second Round, Gbagbo won only 11,741 votes.

In the Moyen Comoe region which borders Ghana and under the control of Gbagbo, while Ouattara won 18,505 more votes in the second round, Gbagbo won only 8,584 votes.

Another case is that of the Zanzan Region, where Gbagbo won in the first round but due to the alliance with Konan Bedie, Ouattara won 41966 more votes in the second round to win the region by 52.94% (Ouattara had only 24.95% in the first round) though Gbagbo also won 16,537 more votes.

13. That there is a split in the African Union over the Crisis

Now this is another big fallacy. Laurent Gbagbo’s own Minister of Foreign Affairs, Alcide Djedje last week while in Ethiopia stated that the Gbagbo camp was supported by seven countries.

He listed these countries as Angola, South Africa, Equatorial Guinea, Gambia, Democratic Republic of Congo, Uganda and Ghana.

Now, Africa is made up of 53 countries; now how can anyone claim that there is a split in the African stance because 7 out of these 53 countries support Gbagbo? How can there be such a split when as stated earlier, the Heads of State Summit held just in January endorsed the Communiques of the Peace and Security Council which recognized Ouattara as President elect?

It is also very interesting to note that out of the seven countries listed as supporting Gbagbo, 5 can be described as pure dictatorships! These are Eduardo Dos Santos’ Angola, Obiang Nguema’s Equatorial Guinea, Yahaya Jameh’s Gambia, Joseph Kabila’s DRC and Yoweri Museveni’s Uganda! Clearly, the dictators in Africa want their companion to stay!

THE WAY FORWARD
For me it should be simple. Laurent Gbagbo and his cohorts are making all their false claims because Gbagbo and his cohorts don’t want to leave power. Meanwhile, the country is already on the verge of a civil war which as I continue saying is the greatest threat to all citizens and foreigners in the country as well as the sub-region. This civil war can only be prevented if the will of the people is protected and thus Gbagbo leaves. In short, everything must be done to get Laurent Gbagbo out!

LOVE!

Even before I start let me state emphatically that this piece is not a tale about me, my life or anything like that. It is purely fictional; though I tell it like its not but in any case that shouldn’t be your problem. Whether its fictional or not should be my problem so don’t worry your head about it. I repeat, its purely fictional. I hope this denial would extricate me from any future or immediate consequences.

Ok. So what is love? Good question to ask right? Well am not the best person to answer it because love hasn’t been a particular good friend to me. For some strange reason, there was a time when everyone was talking about love including myself but I didn’t know what love was. People were telling me that I was in love with someone or that someone was in love with me almost constantly but the problem was that I didn’t know what the hell they were talking about.

What is love? How does it feel like to be in love? How does one get in love? When do you know you are in love? I didn’t know the answers to all these questions so I knew perfectly that I did not know what was love and wasn’t I love. In any case what was this whole fuss about love? Especially when I thought there are more serious issues to think and talk about. But hey I guess this whole talk got into me so I decided to fall in love.

Simple, I decided to deceive myself that I was in love and I should say that this act of self deception was and might still be one of the best feelings anyone can have. Its really not so complicated to deceive yourself that you are in love; not difficult, at all! Just copy what you see in Hollywood, Nollywood, Bollywood and Ghanaian movies about love as well as your friends and how they behave when they claim to be in love. So I did this and replicated it in a simple way. Well if just maybe you don’t have time to study what I have told you or just maybe you are so dump as to do this simple thing (no hard feelings, am just being frank), then let me help you.

Well, start by identifying someone who meets your pass mark in terms of criteria for possible lovers. Select a lady who meets your dreams of a possible lover if you are a guy or select a gentleman who meets in some way our dreams of a possible lover if you are a lady. By this time you should know that this article is simply for those inclined to natural love not the foolish and madness gays and lesbians engage in and indeed if you are either a gay or lesbian, stop reading! Nonsense!

Back to the issue; once you have selected the target, try and make some few advances and hope it works out if even minimally. If it does not then its possibly because you have unrealistic and silly ambitions – to put it simply, you did not choose your size or class or type; in short you are a an irresponsible and hopeless dreamer! In such a case become realistic, and it would work out.

When it works out, then begin the ultimate deceptions. Some are listed here
1. Deceive yourself and pretend that you are jealous anytime you see her talking to another boy or vice-versa

2. Deceive yourself into believing that you cannot do without her and that you are helpless without her

3. When before you go to bed, formulate a nice dream about her and try to make yourself dream a very similar dream once you are really asleep

4. Deceive yourself that she also loves you so much and that she could even kill herself when you leave her

5. When you lose contact, say when she travels out of the city or when for some reason you do not see her or hear from her for long, concentrate and make a conscious effort to play sentimental soul searching music without ceasing. Play songs from celine dion like My heart goes on etc, songs from whitney Houston, like I will always love you etc etc. if you are into local songs, play songs with titles like “odo beba na ma wo”, “odo beba na fon aka teaa”, “odo beba aba sie me”, “odo mma ye a men da ye” etc. etc., the likes of lumba, ofori amponsah and kojo antwi would help you in this all important assignment. Indeed such words are very common to find in almost all Ghanaian songs be it highlife, hiplife and even some Gospel.

6. Intentionally try talking about her very often; that is, when in a conversation with anyone and you realize the conversation is loosing its bite, find a way and bring her name in or something about her in.

7. When friends notice your apparent love with the lady and bring it up; do your best not to either deny it or confirm it, play around it so that they would keep bringing her up.

8. Write poems about her when she is away for long, read them and try honestly to cry after you read them

All these and more would help yourself deception a lot

So I played on and was able to deceive myself that I was in love with few ladies. And as I stated earlier, the feeling was good. What I don’t know as yet was whether the ladies were really in love with me or whether they were also trying to deceive their beings and especially me that they were in love or whether they really thought I was in love with them; whatever they thought, I am sorry for them and sorry for myself.

Normally I would play on for some months or even a year after which I would decide to move on because I wanted to have a new experience; and I must admit that some of the ladies were not much of a good experience (please am not talking about the experience you are thinking about; so stop thinking those bad thoughts. For your information, I aspire to be an African Pope one day and I also value chastity very much). I am talking of experience in relation to how the relationship goes on a day to day basis, how she talks to you, how happy you feel with her and all other things which come when two ‘perfectly healthy’ adults are in a relationship.

Sometimes the relationship would end because it had lasted its full length. But most importantly and most regularly, the relationship ended because I felt that if I got deep into it, I might really feel in love and that I might have severe consequences if the relationship were later to fail.

So I went on and on. But something happened. Once there was quite a long period without me engaging in my passion of self deception, something happened. I was plunged into serious depression. What happened was that I realized that I was really in love with the ladies. I realized that, all I was doing was deceiving myself that I was deceiving myself that I was in love. To put it simply, I realized that I had for all the time being deceiving myself that I was not in love and that I was only deceiving myself that I was. Are you confused? Don’t be? All am saying is that I found out too late that I was really in love and that instead of thinking that I was deceiving myself that I was in love, all I was doing was deceiving myself that I was not in love. Don’t you still understand? Haba, your teachers really suffered; no wonder that most of them are dead already. I cant blame you though because the Lord did not create everyone to be bright, some are just born dump! This simple thing look at how I suffered to get you to understand.

Let me continue. Suddenly I had the answers I didn’t have to the questions that made me decide to get into this deception in the first place. I now knew what love was. I found out that one did not really know that he/she was in love until the relationship was no more. You don’t really feel love till you lose it or till you are on the brink of losing it. Love is when you think about your future and see your partner in that future, that is, when you dream about your future and see it as a future for the two of you. Love is when you feel that you can’t do without a specific lady or gentleman. Love is when you feel loved. You are in love when you can’t stop thinking about her no matter how hard you try. You are in love when you get concerned anytime you see her enjoying herself with another guy or even talking to another guy. You are in love with someone when that person makes you do things you would have never done; or do things you would not do normally or when you do things for her without second thoughts. Love is when you feel like dreaming about her and when you feel good after you have a dream about her. Love is when you feel like talking to her first thing in the morning and last thing in the night. Etc. Etc.

That was love and that is Love. I had finally discovered it; but how on earth could I be so crazy? How on earth could I let all manner of ladies who I really loved and who might have really loved me to go, just because of some stupid believe that I was deceiving myself? How on earth could I allow such great relationships to die? How on earth could I have allowed myself not to know that I was really in love? How could I make such mistakes and how was I ever going to be able to correct them? Should I go back? Who should I try rebuilding the relationship with? How am I ever going to meet such ladies who made me feel so whole?

These and many questions plunged me into utter depression. It was simple, my confusion on what love was had led me into deception which had also led me into dejection as a result of my confusion which had arisen out of my denunciation of the obvious and now I was being led into emotional destruction!

It was such a terrible period in my life. I was destabilized and confused! If I were in the US or some western European country, I would have probably gone to a psychologist for professional help and maybe into rehabilitation for a few weeks. But hey this is Ghana and in Ghana this problem which was my problem is child’s play compared to the problems others have. Indeed had this not been Ghana, most of you reading would have been in permanent rehabilitation because of the problems you have.

I tried to go back and try to rebuild what I had unfortunately and deliberately destroyed but hey, in the end I decided that it was too late and that since I had messed things I the first place, I had to live with it and not attempt anything which would put those whose love I destroyed into more trauma or confusion. Most of them I thought were moving on and I didn’t think it would be fair to go back and try worrying them. So I let go.

Not knowing, this was even a small problem. I now knew what love was. My problem this time was that for most of the ladies, I just couldn’t be sure whether I really loved them or whether I was really deceiving myself this time since I had found out that the line between reality and self-deception was so so thin.

When was I in love and when was I deceiving myself that I was? I simply was confused. My past was coming back to hurt me seriously not only because I was not clear as to when I was truly in love but also because my thoughts were normally tempted with the temptation to go back to some of the ladies in my past. Finally, it was also because some of them would never let me be and I didn’t understand why. At least they would have lifted some burden but some of them, o God, would just not let man be and it was not even as if these were the ones I truly loved; most often, these were the ones I really didn’t love and as for this one, I was sure on it.

In my constant confusion, I decided sadly to go in for certain people I knew I could not love. I could not stand the fear of falling in love and breaking up with a loved one because of my confusion; I did not want to go into depression once again. So I decided to try to fall in love with people I knew I couldn’t really love knowing that even if the relationship failed I won’t feel bad because afterall, I didn’t love them in the first place. Why worry? No problem right? I said in my head that I could develop love with them if I thought I should but I realized that just as no realistic being would attempt developing world class infrastructure in Somalia, that was the same way love couldn’t be developed with some of them. To put it mildly, they were not my class, type or desire. That experiment also sooner than later had to be aborted; at least I am grateful for not aborting the kind of things some of you abort. I was only aborting relationships, experiments and ideas not fetuses (God knows I am telling the truth).

Then all of a sudden, I met one angel. She was like some of the other ladies I had met in my past but this one simply was an angel. I was truly happy in a long while and I knew it the first day I spoke to her. We just clicked and though I tried initially not to fall in love with her, I couldn’t achieve it. The only problem was that I could not be fully sure that she loved me fully. You know, it is said that anyone who slashes necks (as in slashes with knife; did I have to say it in full before you understood? Haba!) is always fearful of sleeping on his back, fearing that his neck might be slashed if he does so. Again, if you are a player as I know you are, you would confess that you are always fearful of being played. Lastly, the liars within you would also know that there is always a constant suspicion of being lied to. Because of what I had done in my past, I was always afraid of the law of kama working on me.


I wasn’t sure whether this angel was in love with me or whether she would even ever fall in love with me. Not that she was not compromising, she was (not compromising for any amorous activities, as I have said earlier, I am a good boy!); by all indications she liked me and also was happy with me and loved me. But I wasn’t fully sure if she was just playing me or deceiving me and deceiving herself or just pretending (whatever the words mean). In the end, my fear let her go. I was always afraid of going the full length with her; I did not show full commitment though I loved her like I never did before. So she went.

Following her was a series of ladies who all fit my criteria perfectly and who I knew I was in love with but to prevent further confusion and depression, I had to deceive myself that I was not in love with them. Mainly I had to do this because I didn’t believe that they loved me fully and that they wanted to be in a relationship with me; I couldn’t trust their love. My past again reared its ‘handsome’ head. So just like that angel, I did not go the full stretch with some of these ladies and for others I didn’t even attempt to go any stretch immediately I realized that they were people I might love.

So I had to deceive myself again. I had to deceive myself anytime I met such ladies that I was not in love with them and would never be. Well this is also a good experience to have and is also not difficult to do; at all! Deceiving yourself that you are not in love is very very easy. I would teach you because I know that some of you might never know how to do it if I don’t teach you.
Simple, when deceiving yourself that you are not in love; do some few things.
1. Intentionally refuse to pick their calls often. This would give you a false hope that you don’t love them and that you can do without them

2. Do not listen to sentimental soul searching music, that is, cools (if you do not know what I am talking about; should I be surprised?); on the other hand listen to reggae, the noise called hiphop (those that don’t talk about f**king& love), gospel etc.

3. Don’t watch movies from sparrow productions, venus films or any of such wanna be classy production houses otherwise some scenes might remind you of what you should forget; on the other hand, watch Agya Koo like movies, watch movies with Akua Ataa Kyeiwaa (the ones with witchcraft would especially be helpful).

4. Don’t watch Nigerian movies except the ones with Aki and Popo (am not talking about out two deputy information ministers so please don’t put me in trouble, am talking about the real aki and popo whom our Ghanaian brothers have taken after wonderfully.). Don’t watch Hollywood movies. Don’t watch telenovelas or Soaps; the only serials you should watch are 24 and maybe CSI.

5. Rebuke yourself very hard anytime you dream about her.

6. Deceive yourself that you are not her class (which might very well be true; looking at who you are)

Now this form of deception also plunged me into depression because I realized all too late that the ladies in question really loved me and were prepared to spend the rest of their lives with me. Indeed I realized that their problem was the fact that they thought I didn’t really love them and that I was not committed to them. In the end, most of them had to fall for good for nothing and utterly useless guys all because they couldn’t get me. How sad for them? For me the realization that I had messed up glorious opportunities which even Junior Agogo would score left me dejected. I had been a fool once again. How could I be so crazy to allow myself to deceive myself like this again. First, I deceived myself that I was in love believing that I was not only to find out later that I was. Now, what I had done to myself was to deceive myself that I was not in love because I didn’t think the ladies in question were truly in love with me only for me to find out that I was deceiving myself that they were not and that I was in love with them and they were with me.

I think you are confused, right? Well if you are not confused, it is obviously because your problems are much huger than mine. Indeed some of you were just born to suffer just like Job and sometimes even worse; at least for Job, he had restoration in the end but for you there is nothing like that; so I understand perfectly well why you are not confused. Your problems are too huge; I pity you! It’s like the Afadjato we have in Ghana which we think is a mountain and find it almost impossible to scale; when a Tanzanian or Kenyan sees it he would view it only as a very small hill because he has seen much astounding mountains like the Kilimanjaro but when a Nepalese or Tibetan also sees Kilimanjaro, he would not be moved because he has seen much much Grand mountain ranges like the Himalayas. For some of us, we were born not to suffer. Our only problem is that we have no problem! So we have to create problems for ourselves by thinking about things like what you are reading. Soorryooo!

Well if you think you are confused then your problem might even be more significant. For you it is either you are deceiving yourself that you are confused or that you lack any significant sense of understanding of very simple issues; in both cases, what you have is a psychological problem which you need to seek immediate help! Self deception is not good so stop it now! You are not confused or are you?

For those of you who think this piece was for you or that part is for you or about you, especially for those I have known in my life, well am sorry but your case is a bit more hopeless. (when I say ‘known’ I don’t mean the biblical ‘known’, not the one where the priest asks if you have known your wife to be; not that one! I am talking about knowing someone, just knowing her). I have told you that this is pure fiction; why then should you force yourself to believe that it relates to you? Your kind of self deception needs more of deliverance than psychological help because in the face of obvious reality you choose to stick to your deceptive ways. Please lastly, this is not about me or about you! If you still want to believe that it is about you or me, fine; suit yourself ! Many manias start with little self deceptions like this, bear that in mind!

Now sitting where I am and looking back, I realize that Love is never supposed to be complicated! Love is just the feeling you get when anyone or anything makes you happy and makes you give out more of yourself than you would have ordinarily done and Love is all that was stated above! And anything or anyone which is loved by you should be celebrated day in, day out! You do not need one day in a year to celebrate something which makes you happy; or something which makes you give more of yourself! You need to celebrate such things and such beings every single day; and it doesnt even need to be grand festivities, just be appreciative that love, that's all it takes for you dont know when you would lose it or when you would lose your ability to feel the kind of love you feel now!

OK. So you see we have come all the way from me deceiving myself that I was not in love when I was actually deceiving myself that was not in love when I knew I was. Such was the cycle of confusion thanks to self deception. Self deception is not good for any one especially you and especially our leaders who force themselves into self deception by deceiving themselves that they are performing so much and that the populace loves them so much when it is obvious that they are failures.

I need to end here! AM GONE! Thank God for my life and for your life!

JUDGMENT DAY II - THE TURN OF THE PRESS!

First Published on November 23rd, 2010

Ok so finally, Part two is here. Part two and the other parts to follow were conceived at the same time Part 1 was, but somehow I never had the motivation to put them into typing till I received the motivation from a dear friend. She knows herself. I wish I have more of that! No meanings please!

So its still judgment day and people are in queue. One after the other they are either punished by being delivered for free to Satan or rewarded by being promoted to Heaven. The Politicians have been dealt with freely and fairly and I should tell you that there was gnashing of teeth. Unfortunately for some of those who were delivered to hell, they spent much of their time on Earth using their mouths and teeth as well as other parts for all sorts of activities so by the time they got to the Judgment throne, there was no teeth left, thus they were left with no choice but to gnash their gums. Some of the politicians who went to hell are – His Excellency …… Seriously, did you think I was going to mention names? God forgive you if you thought so! In this age of Fear and Panic, you want me to say he went to hell because I am comfortable in my house and would want to spend some time in cells eh? Quite apart from that, you know very well that the Good Bible admonishes us not to judge, so why did you even expect me to stand here on earth and start judging (though I should admit that I have a fair idea of those Excellencies who would be going to hell).

Some of us would have by now been judged and would have been luckily promoted to heaven probably after one or two appeals. Some of us would have by this time left our relatives, friends and the whole world stunned by the kind of things we engaged in. We would have been exposed finally and fully. But because almost all of you would have experienced equal or worse expositions, it would not be so difficult for us to face our shame, since your shame would be far greater than ours.

Before I continue to the subjects today- i. e. Journalists, let me inform you that by my calculations and analysis, some people might find themselves in heaven by sheer luck not because of their activities on earth. Others would be booted into hell because of bad luck. Some of you people are so bad luck that even if we talk to you for a minute, it affects our prospects for about a year, some are also so lucky that they can go free even with murder (I am on the luck side though I have not tried murder yet). This trend of luck and bad luck am sure would be present even on Judgment day.

I say this because the sheer magnitude (number) of CDs needed , would outstrip supply from places like Europe and the USA so the likeliest place for getting them would be China, and I do not need to tell you that there would certainly be problems of quality with the CDs; After all it would be Made In China! Check the quality of CDs these days and you would confess! And please by CD, I mean Compact Disk not Condom (for those of you who are so corrupt that you fail to even notice that am doing my possible best and Godly obligation of pulling you away from the gates of Hell)
Back to the case of the low quality China made CDs which would most likely be used for the Judgments- What would therefore happen is that certain individuals would have key moments of their tapes scratched and thus would not show or would constantly break and thus end up most likely being forwarded. The unlucky ones would have all their bad deeds showing feeli feeli but the scratches would appear where they have the few good deeds of their life on Earth. As soon as it gets to where they gave alms, or spoke the truth (which for many like you are rarities), or where they saved someone from say alcohol addiction by sharing their own experiences, the disc would start breaking and stop totally maybe. Only two solutions would be feasible. Either the disk would be forwarded or the disc would forward itself. In short, all we would see would be your evil deeds, upon which sentencing would be passed immediately and your delivery to hell conducted promptly.

The lucky ones like me would also have scratches on our discs, the only difference would be that our good deeds would show perfectly but the breaks would come where our bad works (work not deeds) was supposed to appear. so as soon as it gets to where we told someone we were in the house when actually we were somewhere else doing our own thing or where we did things which cant be easily mentioned, the disk would start breaking and stop!

So God being so good, we would be judged on only our good deeds and thus qualify for heaven straightaway and when that happens we won’t waste any time; we would leave everyone behind, not bothering where their fate would lie and rush to Heaven to prevent any eventuality of having the DVD player replaced with one which might show perfectly or to prevent a situation where some detractors of ours might appeal against our innocent judgment. In fact we would not take any chances on judgment day, at all!

Back to the Journalists! Judgment day would be so interesting. Oh, it would be a sight to behold; to start with, these journalists whose biggest hobbies is finding and asking questions where no questions are, would even attempt to question God on why he chose to start with someone like Michael Dokosi of the Daily Post and not Fortune Alimi of the Daily Guide! And imply that God is biased by the selection of who to start!

But even before that, we all know how Journalists have picked up the attitude of always trying to sway public opinion and outcomes of events by conjuring stories falsely with the hope that with that their desired outcomes would be met. Well, on Judgment Day, this trend would be repeated despite the fact that they would be in the presence of the Almighty. So please don’t be surprised if you see a hurriedly published special edition of the Daily Dispatch blurting out the headline “79% OF FLOATING GHANAIANS WANT BEN EPHSON IN HEAVEN” and with an Article titled “WHY BEN EPHSON SHOULD BE IN HEAVEN” or a Special Edition of the Informer with the headline “DAY OF RECKONING HERE; KWAKU BAAKO, KWAMI SEFA KAYI, GINA BLAY & KEN KURANCHIE TO BR SURELY SENT TO HELL”
The Crusading Guide would surely not be left out as they would bring out a Special Edition too but this time with the Headline “FEAR & PANIC GRIPS NDC PRESS AS DOCUMENTS SHOW THEY PUBLISHED OVER 18000 FALSE STORIES”. Finally, the Insight would publish “IMPERIALIST AGENDA EXPOSED AS WESTERN PLOY TO SEND LEFT LEANING JOURNALISTS TO HELL IS SET TO FAIL”

Just like what happened when the politicians were being sentenced, we would again see countless number of Ghanaians and especially politicians and these same journalists who would not think about their fates but instead concentrate on finding out how many NDC journalists are being sentenced to hell or heaven as compared to NPP journalists in order to enable them score points. People would also take keen interest in finding out which media houses have more of their journalists being sentenced to hell and which ones are not.

It would be all fear and Panic that day; and it would know no bounds, these journalists who have taken the responsibility upon themselves to expose everyone minus themselves would finally be exposed fully. We would know the journalists whose stock in trade is blackmail and whether what they demanded was cash or kind and know whether the $125,000 was really given and really taken and how the socialist who took the money used it, if indeed he took it.

We would all see what makes certain so called pollsters conduct polls and come out with the weird results they come out with and whether indeed they charge people for conducting polls with predetermined results and whether they even step out of their Labone offices to conduct the polls or whether they interview the people they claim to interview in their minds or dreams and how many people they really interview in their minds and dreams as compared to the numbers they tell us.

In one day or more, we would get to know everything we have wanted to know ! To digress a bit, I would particularly be interested in knowing the Amina Rape case! And I would ensure that I do not blink when the tape on the event starts scrolling; we would all see whether the forced rape happened and whether the Driver was actually given the luxury of sleeping with 5 women; ei, people just fall in abundance when they haven’t done anything to deserve it! We would all see how come certain men were able to ‘rise’ in the face of guns and threats of death; and whether they enjoyed it or not as well as those many of you who wish you were in the bus! All of you would be exposed!

But all these would not be as Interesting as the judgment of certain recognized or key journalists! All the drama would be reserved for last by God! The trials of people like Baby Ansaba, Ben Ephson, Ken Kuranchie, Gina Blay, Gabby Asare Otchere Darko, Chicken Joojo Bruce Quansah, Egbert Faibille, Raymond Archer, Kweku Baako and Kwesi Pratt would certainly come last!

When Baby Ansaba gets into the dock, we would all know how come he was able to publish that Prof. Mills had collapsed and been rushed to the 37 hospital at a time when Prof. Mills was engaged in a meeting! In fact let me say this, Baby Ansaba would be one of the people who would answer most questions – baby would tell all of us, how he knew that the NPP paid some journalists and how come he was sacked from the Daily Guide! He would answer to us about the origins of his name – Baby Ansaba Infact any one close to Baby and reading this should inform him to prepare!

Oh Ken Kuranchie, he would also answer paa! But I am unable to say the kind of questions because he is a friend! Don’t get annoyed or bemused by my silly excuse, what are friends for!

In the spirit of fairness and equality and to save space and prevent this already long piece from being too long, I have jumped Gina Blay, Gabby, Bruce Quansah and Egbert but as for Bruce Quansah, we all know that he would answer questions on his alleged, so called kidnapping and how he ended up with chicken blood on him as well as whether the chicken from whose blood he smeared was a poultry fowl or 3fie akuk).

Raymond Archer- wow! Between him and Baby Ansaba, I don’t know who would answer questions! Of particular importance, Raymond Archer would tell us how come a certain tape appeared and it was claimed that the voices on it was the voices of Kofi Jumah and Jake.

But the greatest interest would lie in the judgment of Kweku Baako and Kwesi Pratt! Kweku Baako would surely enter the dock with dozens of people carrying a documents based on which he would defend himself. Kweku would even challenge the scenes shown on his CD with the documents he has and try to convince us that the documents should be rather believed and not the video being screened. Kweku would waste so much time going from front to back in his documents that if care is not taken, one angel might angrily seize the documents and throw them away! On where he would be sent, there is one thing I can be sure off, kweku can never be in the same place with Mr.& Mrs. Rawlings; if the Rawlingses go to heaven, Kweku am sure would volunatarily choose to be sent to Hell but should they end up in Hell then Kweku would move heaven and earth to be sent to hell!

Kwesi pratt the expert on everything would even go to the extent of showing God how to judge and question why certain people have been sent to heaven or otherwise instead of concentrating on defending himself. Kwesi would question everything, why God created us in the first place, why he allowed the whites to colonize Africa, why he allowed Kwame Nkrumah to be overthrown, why he allowed him, Kwesi Pratt, to lose the Ayawaso Central parliamentary seat, why God is making people wait too long before they are judged, why there are only heaven and hell and no other middle place, why he didn’t judge journalists last! But kwesi in the end would tell us how come he ended in prison for 14 times!

Me, as I said earlier, I would be coolly resting in Heaven and gulping down gallons of Milk and taking a stroll around the Gold plated streets of Heaven; oh, how I wish judgment day was tomorrow!

DEATH!

First published on November 5th, 2010

I most often think about death! Yeah I do, it’s one of my pastimes, thinking about death! I don’t know about you but unlike me, I know many who are just scared to hear the word - ‘death’! I don’t know why though, maybe it’s because you yourself know you would end up in hell and so don’t want to hear of the event which would forward you to your final destination; maybe it’s because you think this world is good that you don’t want to imagine not being part of it or maybe you are afraid because others are afraid of it.

But well whether you like it or not, very soon you would die! Hahahahahaha! Well sorry but this isn’t so funny for some of you but it is the truth; you would die soon! And please don’t stop reading at this point because that won’t prevent you from death! Anyway, sorry if I got you scared but why should we be scared of death? It’s something which would happen to everyone, no one can escape it so why should we be scared of it?

I think about death for many reasons. First of all I think about the death of my family members and friends like you. I think about all the good times and experiences I have had with some of you and think about the near future when you would not be around or when my family would not be around. I think and fantasize about how I would be informed of your death and how I would react; for some of you, I know other friends would post – Rest In Peace on your facebook walls and that is only when I would realize that you would no longer be there to chat with or no longer there to comment on my status or like it! For others especially those who are close to me, I know that it would be a sudden phone call in the night or very early morning, which would break the news to me of your death; and it would be only then that I would realize how I you would no longer be there to answer my call and how I can no longer send messages to you and wonder if I should delete your contact or if I should keep it as a living memory of the sort of friend you were. Huh! My heart is beginning to get heavy! But truly, I think about all these things.

Most importantly too, I fantasize about the one-week anniversary of your death and especially your funeral and how I would come and display ad give a heavy donation which would leave everyone bemused. I imagine the sort of cloth I would come in and the convoy of cars which would convey me there and how I would be weep when you are finally lowered 6 feet under the ground and when you are covered with earth with the Preacher man saying ‘dust to dust’ and all the kind of things they say!

So yes, ii think about your death and try to get myself prepared for it! I even think about the posts I would make on facebook about your death; well sorry if I have finished planning your death, burial and funeral but I can’t really stop myself from doing it. Am sure by now, most of you would have stopped asking the question – ‘is he normal?’ to saying ‘he is not correct’!

Well, I also think about my death! As someone who has had a brace with death on a few occasions, I have come to realize that I can be called anytime; so I think a lot about my own death! I think about how shocked some of you would be when news reaches you of my death at a young age of 96-105; how some of you would weep uncontrollably and how some of you would wish you even had the opportunity of exchanging your life for me. I know! I know many of you would even want to die so you can join me in death too , after all the things I did to you in life. I know that many of you wouldn’t believe it until you see me being lowered into my own specially built mausoleum after I have been embalmed which would mean that unlike you, my body would stay for years without getting rotten; thus denying the termites the luxury of having me for food; the good thing is that with you around, the termites wont really starve! I think about how grand my funeral would be! In fact, if anyone denies me a grand funeral, that person wont have it easy at all! I would deal with that person well well. I think about all the announcements that would be made on CNN, BBC and all and the big Bill Boards which would be erected in my honor!

But I also think about one thing, I think about staging my death before death does it himself. I want to stage my death one of these days; so anytime you hear about it be careful; I guess I have to take lessons from Amina.

I want to stage my death so that I can see the reactions of all of you! And what would be said about me; I want to see for my eyes how indifferent people would be to the news of my death; this brings me to a point. I have close to 630 friends on facebook, yesterday was my birthday and only 150 wished me a happy Birthday, so where were all the other 480? After all I have done for them? How ungrateful can people be; just saying happy birthday is even difficult for them! So you see, even with my life, people are still able to show me such ingratitude, how much more when I die? That’s why I want to stage my death, so that I can scare one by one those who show less concern on the issue of the death by not only revealing myself to them at odd places and times but also giving them a hot chase! That way, they would not only be scared but I would have left a lasting legacy in their minds! They would hardly forget me for a full day!

Again, I want to stage my death; so that I can see how people would want to come ad display at my funeral! Those who never wanted to speak to me would even come ad behave like they were the best of friends with me; what hypocrisy? I would want to see those who would come to my funeral to chase girls; I can imagine how insensitive people can be! I would want to see those who would come there specifically to eat and drink at my family’s expense; and how people would run when I slowly lift myself from the bed on which I have been laid and start chasing people all over!

But the question I mostly ask myself is does one know when it is about getting to his/her death? And how what happens at the exact point of death. I have heard that before one dies, the person would often have dreams where he or she would find him or herself interlacing with dead people and that when you start having those dreams, it means you are about to die. In order to prevent this therefore, I have made a very conscious decision not to dream again; so as not to see any dead people! How am I able to do this? Simple, by waking up at hourly or two hourly intervals during my sleep, I prevent myself from going into a deep sleep that would lead me to dream. To every rule there is an exception so to prevent myself from seeing the dead people just in case I dream, I keep my brains filled with everything aside dead people! And before I go to bed, I plan the dream I would want to dream just in case I have to dream! With this I have been able to keep myself from seeing dead people in my dreams. For those of you who have not done similar things like me though, I pity you because if you have been having dreams where you see yourself with dead people then please note that very soon, very soon, it will come. I don’t want to scare you anymore!


Again I have heard that few days before you die, you would become very friendly and very good. Two solutions appeared most prudent, when I heard about this; 1. Either I stopped being good and friendly so that death would stay a long way from me; or that I become constantly good and friendly, there would thus be no sudden change in my attitude which would cause death to look in my direction. With these two solutions, I knew that death would stay far away from me and close to some of you. But choosing not to be good and friendly would mean certain hell for me on the judgment day so I choose the other solution; and that is the reason why I am this good and friendly! That is why all of you wish you had my traits of friendliness and goodness!

Why did I write this note? I don’t even know! But I wanted to thank some special people in my life and special people who have helped me in my life and great people whose friendship I cherish so much! I didn’t want to write it straightforward, as it wouldn’t make it interesting for me; so I decided to write something , and this is what came up!

First on the list of mentions is the woman no woman can take me away from – my mum, Georgina Baffoe and Nana Yaa (my kid sister), my Grandmum, my Aunties and Uncles and cousins and all!

Then those great friends I have had who have helped me so much in a various points in my life or with whom I have shared or continue to share great moments; it is people like you who make life worth living - in no particular order –
Sammi Awuku, Angela Aheto, Rebecca Delong, Gloria Akpene, Akyena Benjamin, Alla Mensah, Emmanuel Kwasi Afriyie, Christian Kwabena Ansah, Festus Matey, Collins Dakurah, Nyamekye Nkrumah, Kingsley Owusu Anom, Enoch Sarpong, Dorothy Oforiwaa, Heartwill Tamakloe, Festus Owusu (Fela) Ernesto Yeboah, Hannarich Affum, Kofi Dzifa Jewel, Mckeown Amponsah, Nelson Awuku, Rebecca Donkor, Edem Amoah, Joseph Amoako-Yorke, Aggrey Korsah, Hamza Suhuyini, Emmanuel Peprah, Leticia Aduhene, Richard Boahene, Matthew Fosu Gyeabour, Felix Acheampong, Kwadwo Addo Dankwa, Godfred Boakye, Enoch Agyekum, Fatawu Mohammed, Swala Abubakr, Ernest Brobbey, Eugene Amoah, Sackey Kow Akyen, Josiah Aubin, Muni Montia, Florence Abban, Olivia Jehu Appiah, Egya Kojo Botwe, Charles Dorman, Kobby Gomez, Kwaku Boakye Nimako, Papa Annan Nana Adwoa, Nana Fredua ofori Atta, Sam Ellis, Nana Poku Sikadwa etc. etc. if I forgot any name I should have mentioned, please note that it wasn’t as a result of malice; it’s due to something which like death is part of every humans life!

To the friends I have gotten to know because of facebook, you have added much more to my life than I thought I would get by signing on to facebook and you provided every second of my life, with memories I cannot forget! Again in no particular order – Adwoa Ahofedua, Akwasi Afrifa Akoto, Amma Naabia, Eugene Boadi Dankwa, Paa Kwesi, Nana Prempeh Okogyeabour, Nana Poku, Obaayaa Boadi, Patrick Lawmann, Leticia Oforiwaa, Ataa Sombody, Charles Nii Teiko Tagoe, Patriot Faisal, Pap Tee, Giovanni Deal Drain, Lunyamadzo Njulumi, Daniel Vembera, Jephtah Asare, Kwaku Mensah Jnr., Nelly Kissi, Nii Nai, Olivia Quartey, Kwabena Antwi Boasiako, Chester Ati, Stephen Agbai, Obrempong Brako, Matthew Kinsford Baidoo, Nana Kwaku Versace and indeed every friend I have at this moment.

Seriously, am still wondering why I wasted my time doing this! Afterall, telling you about my thoughts about death and my fantasies about it would not help me understand the mysteries of death better than I do now; it would certainly not help me avoid death and so would it not help you, you would certainly go! So why did I do it? I don’t know! I felt like doing it - But hey, is this not the beauty of Life? One day when I am no more, you would remember that this guy once made me confused or wanted to; only that I would not be there anymore to try that, I would long be gone! One day when am gone, you would miss me for not being around to write long notes like this and just maybe you would wish you read my notes without complaining that it was too long. That day could be tomorrow, in a months time, in a year’s time, in ten years time or even just after you read this. But if you happen to go before I do, I would also remember that I once tried to make this lady confused or that I once tagged this guy in my note; the only snag would be that I would know you are no more and that I cannot tag you in anymore notes because you would not be there to read. That’s life; we need to cherish the life we have and the life of others no matter how confused or depressed and no matter the problems you have because your life and the life of others has a timeline which no one knows. Thank you! I pray we live longer together!

The New Ghanaian Vocabulary III

First Published on Tuesday November 2nd, 2010

Well, welcome to another class of lessons in the new Ghanaian vocabulary which is changing very very rapidly and which calls for a need to get ourselves constantly updated.

On February 8th this year, I began my patriotic duty to update the few friends I have with the changes occurring in our language and our vocabulary with the first edition of the “The New Ghanaian Vocabulary”; I continued with the second edition on the 12th of February with the second installment of the “New Ghanaian Vocabulary”; for those who did not have the privilege of being my friends early on and who have not read it, I would urge you to get abreast with the lessons in these two editions of the New Ghanaian Vocabulary.

But just to recap a few;

In the first edition, we learnt that the new word for ‘Obesity’ was ‘Anyidohu’ or its synonym ‘Ofosu ampofo’ and that a ‘team manager’ was called an Ahwoi.

We also learnt that for mediocrity, the word to say was ‘Zita’ and a dangerous confession was known as an ‘Ansaba’.
In the second lesson, we learnt the best word to use in describing a lady who wastes all her time doing pedicure is ‘Naadu’

And that a Religious frame up is either an ‘Obinim’ or an ‘Adarkwa Yiadom’; Jihad was seen to have become ‘Jamal’

The word ‘Ampadu’ was said to be a false prophet who specializes in dishing out Electoral prophecies on political platforms; ECG became Atta Disco while the dominant yellow gallons used for water have become the Mortuary Man Gallons.

To say a ‘Twitch’ we learnt that we had to say a ‘Hlordze’

Ok so this is but a few lessons from our first and second lessons.

'Amina' describes someone who receives undeserved punishments for breaking an oath of secrecy.

Hampers distributed officially by the State are known as 'Dogbes'. These are normally not accounted for

Someone who cannot stop being dishonest is known as an 'Ablakwa'! The full noun is Ablakwamaniac

A man with an unusually large number of children (pikins) is known as a 'Mahama'; the word is often used to describe men in very high state offices with over 10 children but can be applied to all

To 'Zita' is the ability of a Public Officer to access the privilege of killing two stones with just 1 bird

A 'Mould' is a failure turned into a disaster in a short period

To 'Pratt' is to see the good / best side of an individual or party when no one is able to see them and also see the bad side of other individuals or parties when no one sees them. Such characters are often known for the sharp tongues and regular shifting of goal posts.

A typical Kokoa ase Kurasini is an 'Afriyie'

You have 'Muntakaed' if you show publicly, your discontent about mockery inflicted by the general populace for something you did (though you are not the first person who did it)

An 'Acheampong' is someone who makes very irresponsible statements often and often in his zeal to show that he is also uncultured.

An 'Appiah Ofori' is an old man who gains notoriety for making very irresponsible and irrational statements

A 'Gyankoma' is an adult daughter who manages to attract for her father, undeserved criticisms as a result of her behavior

You are 'rawlingsing' if you are living a very good life financed by others! Such a state involves the shirking of responsibility for one’s children (ie. their education etc.), housing, movement, etc. unto friends and possibly the state

You are a 'Herbert' if you reveal in public, something told you by a confidant of a Leader about the Leader

A 'PrinceDerick' is a formerly outspoken alleged Gay who adopts a loud silence after he is exposed

A 'Bature' is a self acclaimed leading member of a political party whose posture put him out as someone who is more conversant with the internal intricacies of the political party or government than anyone.

To be an 'Atta' is to be an unpopular leader

The 'Star of Nketiah' is the highest award conferred on Palm Wine Tapping greats and all who have distinguished themselves in the noble art of Palm Wine Tapping; it is seldom given to former distinguished Palm Wine Tappers who have risen through the ranks of a particular field

To 'Shakespeare' is to boast loudly and collapse when your boastful utterances are challenged. It is also used to describe a person whose mouth fears no authority but whose body is not that supportive of the mouth.

'Dadzie' – A media man who causes fear and panic

To Evans& Mills is an idiomatic expression meaning to be mediocre and happy or to be underperforming and glad.

'Dadey' describes a Male who forces female subordinates to have free and unwarranted sex with him at awkward places and in awkward positions under the threat of causing termination of appointment. The Prefix – ‘Sam’ is added to this noun if the Libido of the particular male as described causes him to lose his job ultimately.

A Gold Magnate is called a 'Twumasi Ankrah'

Chimpanzee …… I don’t know

'Gizellia' describes the mental ailment which leads female sufferers to hallucinate about fairytale children they have conceived (most often with prominent men in society)

An 'Olele' is a visibly and obviously old person who refuses to quit an active engagement to allow the young and more athletic to take over. Synonym : Kingson

'Kwesi Appiah' is the situation where the actions, inactions and performance of a single individual destroys a whole agenda or movement. Such movements are normally motivated by patriotism and indigenization.

A 'JohnMensah' is a self acclaimed young person who is exposed by Nature constantly for being not so young

You have 'Opoku Manued' if you escape certain lynching from disenchanted political activists.

Insult is now ‘Aidoo’

Now the following Cities have also had changes in their Names
KUMASI – COCOASE
TAKORADI – KUB3ASE
ACCRA – NSUOASE
KOFORIDUA - BEPOASE

Thank You once again, the third lecture is over; the floor is opened for question...The handouts for this lecture are already ready for photocopying and downloading

REPLICATING CHILE IN GHANA – HOW I PLAN TO GET TRAPPED AND RESCUED!

First Published on October 14th 2010

After watching more of the inspiring scenes from the Miners rescue in Chile and after receiving hundreds, if not thousands of comments and messages from most of you; I am more motivated to embark on my mission to inspire our dear country by getting trapped in a mine and subsequently getting rescued, that is, replicating the scenes in Chile. More importantly, I plan with your support not only to replicate what happened in Chile but to stage in a more interesting and eye catching manner so as to make it more news worthy and ensure that I really achieve my aim of inspiring this Nation which is so difficult to inspire!

To make this mission successful, I would kindly request for the following items to be provided to me by well wishers and Nationalists who see the importance of me sacrificing myself to get trapped and subsequently get rescued (very important!). I would need

• Two Hi-tech phones and 10 spare batteries each(say an Android and an I Phone)-
One with an MTN chip since am sure discounts would be high in the mine and one with my Vodafone chip. These phones would not only be used by me to communicate with my family, friends and loved one (secretly) but it would also be used most especially to post on facebook and Twitter; thus making my Trapping the first Social Media powered Mine Trapping and add something we did not hear from Chile.

• Two boxes of Don Simon Fruit Juice (one Multifruta and one Manzana)

• One full box of Milo and Two boxes of Tin Milk


• 5 Voltic boxes (just in case incompetence slows down the pace of rescue)

• One Smart TV Decoder (since it does not need a Dish), so I can follow the major Leagues and News events around the world


• And someone to assure me of a regular supply of Hausa Koko in the mornings and Banku and Pepper with Tilapia or Red Fish/ Apem Ampesi to go with kontomire interlaced with koobi and palm oil in the afternoons. It should not be doubted that this mission, I am about to embark on is purely sacrificial – these foods have been chosen specifically as a way of promoting Ghanaian foods during the rescue as I expect the major News Networks like CNN, BBC, Aljazeera, Reuters, AP, Fox News, DW, Al Arabiya, Xinhua, Intertax etc. to follow it with much keen interest compared to the Chilean rescue.

To ensure that my trapping attracts significant local interest, I have decided to get trapped on a sold/ grabbed Government land – though I have not decided yet whether to get trapped on one sold/grabbed under the NDC or the NPP or whether to get trapped at Ofankor (plot no. 7 maybe), Cantoments or West Legon. I am still receiving suggestions and would urge well meaning people like you to help me get a well suited land on which I can get trapped.


Since I cannot dig the mine, I would need some of you especially the men to dig the mine once we get the appropriate land. You should be reminded that the mine to be dug would not be child’s play! You would be required to dig a mine which would be deeper that 7,000 metres and ensure that it is dug in a way which would not put my life at risk. The base of the Mine should be large enough to hold all the items, I would take with me. Since we need to stage this trapping very quickly, I would urge those of you who would dig the mine not to lazy about but to approach your enviable duties with all the seriousness in the interest of our nation.

After the mine is dug, all the items demanded apart from those to be supplied daily would be lowered into the mine after which I would lower myself into the mine for the drama to begin!

Now these are some of the things I would like you to do in the interest of the mission, once I get into the mine.
1. Once in the mine, only announce my disappearance; don’t announce the prospects of me being in the mine until after 20 days. This is because the Chilean Miners were discovered after only 17days and thus ours should be longer to break their record and because I am fully aware that if no okro mouth informs the police or any rescue team to be put in place, they would have no clue about my whereabouts.

2. Let me remind you that during these 20days, I would need to be supplied with the Hausa koko and koose in the mornings and Banku with pepper and Tilapia or Apem Amp3si with kontomire. This is very vital and needs to be constantly mentioned.



3. After the 20 days, try and ensure that the police or Rescue team finds the Mine. when it is discovered, ensure that no overzealous NADMO official attempts any hurriedly organized rescue with pickaxes and shovels; that would put my life at risk and mean disaster for me and the mission. On the other hand convince the officials that the best form of rescue would have to be one in a similar to the Chile rescue with a narrow capsule and all that.


4. As soon as I get trapped, bring my disappearance and trapping to the attention of the Major World News Media most of which I have outlined above. Make sure my trapping becomes major news by the time the mine is discovered. If they show their disinterest in the issue or don’t show as much interest as they showed in the Chilean situation, accuse them widely of been racist and of putting more premium on Western and Latin lives than that of Africans; it is my hope that this approach would get them to pay more attention and give the trapping and rescue the needed attention it deserves.


5. I don’t belief he would do so but just in case the President refuses to spend the millions of dollars needed for my rescue just like the Chilean government did, I would need you to accuse him of being a father for a few and of intentionally seeking my death because of my political affiliation. Get the whole world to know that the refusal to put in the needed funds and materials to rescue me is because of my political stance! Try and get the NPP and AFAG to organize news conference after news conference and even get the Minority to boycott parliament! I hope it does not come to this, but with this government, you can never tell so we have to make preparations for it!

In ending, I would like to urge all of you to stay committed to this course which is in the supreme interest of the nation! For Ghana’s sake we need to ensure that this mission is successful and the onus lies on all of you to ensure this. If the Chileans could do it then we can also do it!

PROF. MILLS IS NOT ONLY ‘DO LITTLE’! HE IS ‘PROF. PETTY’ TOO!

First Published on September 6th, 2010

President John Evans Atta Mills is a man who is very interesting and one who I think should be studied. Over the last month, the flagbearer of the opposition NPP came up with a name for Prof. Mills , ‘Professor Do Little’. Immediately I heard the new accolade of our President, I wondered how come I wasn’t able to confer that accolade on Prof. Mills before Nana Addo did, because I had long noticed that Prof. Mills was a man who was destined to do very very little in his governance of this nation. This realization did not arise as a result of a dream or vision but as a result of the analysis of the man’s actions and statements which reflects his thoughts and psychology.

In fact the first realization I had was the fact that Prof. Do Little was happy doing little and with such a psychology it would be an unprecedented miracle for him to do more. This initial realization which led me to conclude that our President was indeed destined to do little was vindicated by the man himself who on his return to Ghana after cooling off in the States stated proudly that he is happy to do little.

And yes he is happy to do very little and no one can blame him because he has been given the privilege by Ghanaians to rule for four whole years, he has absolute power to decide whether to do more and uplift our country to where we ought to be or to do very little and pride himself with little achievements like building boreholes in mental facilities.

And oh, on that subject, let’s not forget that our President in full pump and pageantry went to the Accra Psychiatric Hospital to commission a borehole. But what do we really expect from a man who says he is happy to do little or a man who is in fact doing little. When such a man leads you, developing boreholes in health centres become great national accomplishments which must be heralded with vuvuzelas and carnivals.

And yes this psyche of doing little and celebrating it has characterized the NDC administration of President Mills since the very first day it assumed office. If we remember, Press Conferences upon Press Conferences were held amidst Newspaper Headlines etc. to announce the arrival of crude oil in our country. For the first time in a very very long while, the date of arrival of crude became something of major national importance and significance and when it finally landed oh, how great an event it was. NDC propagandists were all over TV, Radio, Newspapers, the Internet, the Streets etc. heralding the arrival of crude oil as a major achievement of the Mills government something many believed was even worth getting into the Guinness Book of Records.

Recently, hundreds if not thousands of advertisement slots were bought with state money on Radio, TV, in newspapers and on the web to announce the commissioning of less than a quarter of the Road that is supposed to link Achimota to Ofankor by the whole Vice-President of the Republic of Ghana. It is even more amazing that even this road is not a project that can be claimed in any sense by the Mills/ Mahama administration; yet the commissioning of a very small stretch was heralded, drummed and trumpeted as if Ghana was about to commission its first inter-city tunnel. The hasty commissioning of that stretch of the overhead has even further worsened the traffic situation on the road to Achimota; that what we get for electing people who are happy doing little.

So Prof. Mills is very happy; in spite of all Ghana’s problems and the failure of his administration to deal decisively with those problems, he is happy. He is happy to provide tents, ideally meant for Refugees and the displaced for Senior High School students even though he promised while on campaign in 2008 to build 300 Secondary Schools when he is elected (http://news.myjoyonline.com/politics/200809/20981.asp ). That promise clearly has been thrown to the dogs sorry cats, maybe during his campaign he was thinking big but certainly not this time.

Prof. Mills is happy that his inaction or should I say little action has led Ghana into a dispute over our God given oil reserves because he failed to heed to an advice given months before that particular oil well – the Dzata -1 well was discovered and the dispute arose, to set up a joint border commission with our neighboring countries (http://www.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/artikel.php?ID=158356). He is happy that today we stand a great chance of losing substantial parts of our oil reserves because he is do little!

In fact am even sure he is happy with Ghana’s latest B credit rating; after all he would happy we didn’t get a D or is that not what the logic according to His Excellency Mills would say?

One thing which is also clear is that Prof. Mills is not only ‘do little’ but also very Petty, in other words he is preoccupied with little thoughts and petty things. If this was not so, we would not have him going round the whole country telling people that whether they like it or not he is the President at a time when Ghana could not even import crude. Obviously, President Mills sees the presidency not as a role but as a title and has no option but to remind all of us constantly that he is the President and the only one for that matter.

Prof. President Mills is a very petty man and anyone who has listened to him over the years even before he became President would notice this. Only someone who is petty would go into his home region and claim that the fishing industry in that region is suffering because the sitting President does not come from the coast and has cited all the big cold stores in his home region when in fact he, Prof. Mills who supervised the divestiture of most State Owned Cold Stores in the Central Region while he was Vice-President. Prof. Mills is petty in every detail; he even went round trying to prove he is competency by making the point that he was not born with a silver-spoon in his mouth.

As President however, it seems this pettiness has even grown larger. As a way of showing modesty, Prof. Mills moved in a bus with some appointees followed by a convoy of 4x4’s to a workshop and returned with his ministers in the 4x4’s which followed them; meaning that instead of saving cost Prof. Mills even caused the state by the addition of the bus they rode in. That is how petty our President can get at times. Since exposing his ‘modesty’ in such a manner, he has never travelled in a bus again; I thought that the best way to expose his modesty was to make it a policy to travel in buses everywhere he goes.

So is anyone surprised that Prof. Mills aka Prof. Do Little would go as far as snubbing the leader of the largest opposition party to make a point? No, I am not in the least surprised and I expected him to do such things long ago. This is a President who has not on a single occasion credited the NPP which ruled this country for eight years for anything good and even goes to the extent of claiming things the NPP began and even sought funding for as his initiatives; so why does anyone think that he would acknowledge Nana Addo when the two meet at a function bearing in mind that Nana Addo is the man who seeks to take his precious ‘title’ of President away?

It is in his basic character to hold on to little insignificant things so it’s not easy to hide it; we all remember how he went to town throwing tantrums during a meeting with the GJA few days after Nana Akufo-Addo had arrived in Ghana to rapturous welcome. This is a President who trumpets so loudly anytime he is in his home region that he is an indigene and goes to another region to trumpet the fact that region is his second home leaving all other regions in a limbo over which position they place in the President’s order of ‘home regions’.

Now it’s should be obvious that Prof. Mills himself is happy about he being Prof. Do Little and oh, he has even stated that himself so why are his supporters furious over that title? Why are they wailing more that bereaved? Maybe because even though they support the NDC and Prof. Mills, they don’t want him to do little. They want their President and leader to do more and think big. They know that it is only in getting a reputation of someone who does more, that would ensure success for the NDC.

And yes, that message should go to Prof. Mills. Ghanaians are not happy with a President who does little. Prof. Mills could have been happy if was President of his nuclear family with he being someone who does little but as a President of the Republic of Ghana, he cannot and should not be happy with doing little because he was not voted to do little, he was voted to do much much more! Ghanaians are not content with his do little record, we want an achiever; someone who is never content no matter the achievements he chalks; we need someone who would set his sights high and think big and someone who never rests! That is the kind of person we want as President. My country needs someone who is not bottled in pettiness but someone who knows that the essence of leadership is changing positively the condition of the people you lead and not just changing it positively but changing it in the biggest possible ways. That is the President we require so Prof. Mills, the ball is in your court! Quit being happy with doing little and do more!