ABRAHAM AND ISAAC IN MODERN GHANA!

So I was there when all of a sudden a thought occurred to me. I was struck by some Biblical events and I thought about them carefully in relation to the modern world and in relation to modern thought generally.

The first story which struck me was the story of Abraham and how he attempted to kill his only son, Isaac after God directed him to offer Isaac for sacrifice. Before I continue, I would want you to ask yourself if you can sacrifice your only son if God asked you to do so.

Well, Abraham was asked to do exactly this and strangely enough, he complied. Abraham being a very very faithful man to God decided to murder his only son as Sacrifice to God. The story goes that Abraham told his son to follow him one day into the bush to offer sacrifice. What I find strange is that though Sarah was also a devout believer, Abraham did not inform Sarah of what he was going to do. That is my first issue.

So Abraham set forth with Isaac into the bush. Now this is my second issue. Isaac was not a small boy who couldn’t reason so when his dad informed him of the impending sacrifice, Isaac should have asked questions about which animal was going to be used for the sacrifice. Isaac gladly did and asked his father what animal they were going to use, whether it was going to be grass cutter, squirrel (opro), or a deer (otwe). I hear Abraham told him that God would provide and that Isaac shouldn’t bother about whether the sacrifice was going to be made with a snake, elephant or deer because that was not his problem to deal with.

If I were Isaac (gladly, I was not), I would have sensed that there is trouble on the mountain. But Isaac didn’t and he followed. But why did Abraham also not tell Isaac that he was going to be the sacrificial ‘animal’? Obviously, he was afraid that since they hadn’t gotten too far, Isaac would run and go and tell Sarah which could lead to a lot of issues; you know women.

Isaac and Abraham continued. When they got to the venue of the Sacrifice, Abraham informed Isaac that it was time for the Sacrifice. Isaac was so glad and told his father that he was going to look for the animal they would use for the sacrifice and even went ahead to inquire from his father which animal he should hunt for (small boys are young indeed).

However, Abraham told Isaac not to bother himself because the sacrifice was already at the venue and indeed was facing him and asking him questions. Isaac didn’t quite get it, because from what he knew, he was the only one facing Abraham; could he be the sacrifice, could he be the sheep? Obviously, yes! Who else, Abraham confirmed.

Isaac was still confused and attempted opening his mouth but Abraham quickly counted and told him to lie coolly on the platform so that he could be finished quickly. It was here that Isaac got to know Abraham was serious.

Interestingly enough and surprisingly too, Isaac followed his father’s instructions. How amazing? Now imagine your reaction, if your dad takes you out and all of a sudden tells you to lie down so he can sacrifice you for God. Am sure you would do it, ryt? Well, I would not! I would tell my father straight in the face to stop joking and get serious! Sacrifice me, he obviously can’t be serious! For what? I am a young boy waiting to enjoy life, not even married, not done anything much and all of a sudden you want to sacrifice me; what does he mean anyway?

In fact, if I realize that my dad is serious, I might end up sacrificing him before he sacrifices me. But Isaac did not do this. I expected Isaac to tell Abraham in plain language, that “look old man, are you serious? (more harsher word but am a bit afraid to use such words- God is reading, shhh), am your only son, have you forgotten? Please cut off this joke cos it aint funny! In any case am bored, can we go home? No I am even leaving! How on earth could you think of such a thing dad? How on earth? What would mummy think when she hears of your attempt to sacrifice your only son? Oh, dad you disappoint me! “. Then after uttering these words, I would leave.

If he tries to be serious in this sacrifice business after I attempt leaving, I would use the energy in me to run for dear life or use it to offer him rather for sacrifice as I stated earlier. If this scenario occurred in today’s world, Isaac would have bolted straight either home, to a police station or to Peace fm to report how his dad had taken him to the bush and attempted to murder him under the guise of offering him for sacrifice to God.

Three scenarios arise.

If Isaac decides to run home and report to Sarah, Sarah would immediately conclude that there is something wrong with her husband, hide Isaac at a safe location and start wailing. She would wail and wail till the whole world hears of the Godly thing Abraham was going to do. She would tell everyone everything that has happened in their marriage from how they suffered to get Isaac and how Abraham slept with Haggah, how Abraham had to be forced and threatened to send Haggah and his child packing before he did etc.

Infact Abraham’s reputation would have been totally destroyed by the time he returns from the bush. Abraham would be in deep sh… (I am too decent to pronounce that word but knowing those who are reading by this time, I am fully confident that you know the word I was supposed to use and wont mind mentioning it).

Scenario 2.

If Isaac had rushed to the police station, what would have happened would depend on which police station he reports it to. If he reports it to a police station in Dusseldorf or somewhere in Boston, the police would take his report, take the address to his house and the location where the father attempted to sacrifice him and immediately get a psychologist to help him deal with the trauma he is going through. By this time they would have asked him if he has eaten, gotten him some food if he has not and assured him of their protection, blah, blah, blah.

If he had reported it to a police station in Ghana, a totally different situation would occur. To begin with, the police would spend over 3 hours asking him very unnecessary questions like how he got to the police station, if he knew the father would do that to him, his hometown, which school he attends, whether he respects his father or not, why he did not attempt to raise an alarm so that his father could be apprehended before rushing to the police station, whether the mother was quarelling with the father etc. etc. before they would even make any attempt. Following this, the policemen at the station and the women too, would take another one and half hours to discuss why a father would do such a thing and try to rationalize what happened, with some of the women making statements like ‘as for men you are wicked oo’ (mmarima dea mo tirimu eden paa); while the men would be blaming insanity for the actions of the father . then they would proceed on how, the family might take the case out of court even if they arrest Abraham and why that makes the work of the police hard etc.

After this, because they is no easy way of locating a house in Ghana, they would order the traumatized lad to lead them to the Bush where the father attempted to sacrifice him and shout on him all along the way. If they do not meet Abraham there, they would start a new set of interrogation and wud not even bother to pick samples of evidence or anything or even cordon the place of the attempted sacrifice (with that yellow thing the western police use, which we always see in movies but never in reality in Ghana; can anyone help me with the name after all is it my fault that I don’t know?). They won’t bother, simple and short! Tweaa, why should they?

So they would take Isaac home and ask the traumatized lad to again narrate all he told them at the police station to the mother and family (ka ne nyinaa, ennyi bi enfiri mo; sorry for my twi, I had a comedian as Twi master while I was in primary school and in JSS, my mates from Star of the East would attest to this; it’s not my fault!). Isaac would really go through something and would even start regretting by the time they are through with him because he is sure to get some of the blame for what might have happened to him. Its funny how we tend to blame victims of crimes in a way for causing what happened to them in this country and in Africa as a whole; in the end you feel sorry and blame yourself, it happened to me recently so I know what I am talking about!

Third Scenario

One of the first things Isaac would have done is to go to Peace FM or any such loud mouth radio station, i.e. if the incident happened near Madina for example, he would have dashed to Oman FM or Adom FM if it happened around Tema. But the likeliest station he would have gone to would be Peace FM.

At Peace FM, the kid would be rushed to the studio and put on air live! Exclusive to peace FM only! Any program being held at that time would be quenched! And the interview would start with constant interruptions of their sound bites like ‘PEEEEAAAACE FM’, or “obia se 3y3” etc.

Isaac would be made to tell the whole Ghana what happened, live on radio without bearing in mind that he has not even seen the Police. He would be made to give every detail of what transpired and the comments from the host and others would immediately sentence Abraham unofficially! The Public’s mind would be made after only 15minutes of the interview.

If Abraham is not lucky, his plight would be worsened if Peace FM decides to take calls from the public on the issue. The callers would immediately call for Abraham to be given either the life penalty or death and go ahead to question why ay lawyer should even defend such a man. The lawyers would be called all sorts of names and would be accused of aiding and abetting while others would tackle the issue from the side of Judges, calling for a very speedy trial and sentencing of Abraham!

In less than 30 minutes the story would be all over the net! Peace FM online, Myjoyonline, Ghanaweb, ModernGhana etc. . Unrepentant facebookers would also not be left out of the developing story.

They would characteristic of them post all sorts of comments without bordering about the consequences because most of them hide behind very dubious profiles and names while the others with real profiles care less about the harm they do with the comments they make! Hahahaha, it sounds like I am describing someone.

People like Faisal Ibrahim would post things like ‘Father attempts to sacrifice son. I LOVE GHANA’. While Gabby Otchere Darko would post something like ‘In 2008, 56% of murders were committed by relatives while 63% of murders in 2009 were caused by relatives, showing a rise in family related killings. Would the technique employed by the British Police in dealing with such crimes help? ’ Then Fiifi Boafo would also post ‘Heard of the attempted murder of a son by a father? Well catch me live tomorrow morning on Oman FM for more on this story as I speak to the Isaac’

But I would write something like- ‘Ei, things are happening under Atta Mills! Fathers are today ready to sacrifice sons? Oh God save Ghana!’

The next day, the Newspapers would also be all over it. Daily Guide would have a headline like ‘HORROR! FATHER ‘BUTCHERS’ SON!’ . The Ghanaian Times would have ‘FATHER’S ATTEMPT TO KILL SON FAILS!’ and the Daily Graphic would crown it with ‘GRUESOME: SON ESCAPES DEATH IN BUSH, AFTER FATHER TRIES TO SACRIFICE HIM’.

In the end, the headline of the Daily Graphic would sum it all up- “COURT HANDS ABRAHAM A 120 YEAR AFTER PROSECUTION PROVES CASE OF ATTEMPTED MURDER; BUT FAMILY WANTS CASE QUASHED & SETTLED AT HOME!”

Should I continue this one ? Hmm, Am not sure! But who knows……. But whatever happens, watch out for more stories from the Bible!